I can see the light….

The light at the end of my tunnel that is….and guess what I do!?….slow down making myself an official super senior….I told my friends that I am never going to graduate if I keep playing with them….so funny to me because we are far from them partying years, but have found a way to maintain the status quo….Seriously, life was happening and while trying to obtain this bachelors degree I’ve learned to embrace it….I know previous post honed in on these mental constraints that I placed on myself….making me a prisoner of my own mind….who does this anyway!?

When I started back to school again, in 2012, I vowed that this would be the final attempt….I started at CSU with credits from three different institutions….Tri-C for Nursing – working in a group home for mentally disabled killed that idea….CWRU studied communications for professional development and declared that my major….back to Tri-C for real estate licensure only to not become a licensed realtor but to become a home owner/landlord….Ashford University online degree program glued me to a computer screen every woke moment of my life for a year and a half – no fun!  This go around was it…I told my mother she was going to watch one of her children cross the stage…how ironic my CSU acceptance letter was dated June 7th – her birthday!

My first semester back I took sign language to satisfy my foreign language requirement….that was the quietest classroom I had ever been in….I thought I was being punked!  My grown butt texting my momma telling her how I made it to school safe & sound, sharing jokes to break up the monotony….I enjoyed coming home and teaching her how to sign….Unfortunately during the following semester, I had to plan her funeral….but the sign language classes displayed its’ purpose….there was a point during her illness she had masked oxygen and could not talk….but her and I had learned enough sign language to say, “I love you”….2a1b638b5f11f0d9fd43be6115348389--love-you-more-always-love-you

 

Thank God for my Aunt Susan, my mom’s sister….I remember speaking with her on the phone a few weeks after my mom’s service and telling her that all of this was pointless now….her being my mother’s sister wasn’t having it….she delivered the message softer than my mom would have….this is for YOU!….I didn’t hear it immediately though….

Last Fall (’16) I dropped my classes, caught my breath and pushed the graduation date back….now I’m really feeling myself….Spring (’17) cut the hair off….I was on this no cutting madness until graduation….tried to take a class during the summer…notice I said ‘tried’….

I see the light….it’s right there and I’m going to get there, but like Auntie said….on my terms….

Now let’s wrap up these last three classes and get the show on the road….It’s the final finale….and I’m smiling again….genuinely

Screenshot_20170913-154714

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Auto-Renew… .

I’ve been receiving emails, over the last week, stating, “E.C.Rogue will auto-renew”…. matter of fact it’s my blogniversary…an whole 2 years!  The emails made me realize that I haven’t posted in over a year….well it’s time to spring back into action….

Think about how you can plant a seed for a perennial  plant/tree, and by the fall the plant/tree grows up strong, confidently, and bearing fruit/flowers for your picking or it didn’t grow at all.  Then the following year that same  plant/tree barely grew nor produced fruit/flowers….Then the season after that, the same plant/tree grew in abundance unlike any other prior bloom……..maybe it was the weather that year… lack of or too much rain, lack of or too much sun, too cold, too hot perhaps?…maybe it was the physiological make-up of the seed itself….?  This is actually referred to seed dormancy.Screenshot_20170726-144014

The irony is that there is correlation among living things….the reason behind my dormancy?  I can tell you it’s a little bit of both physical and physiological conditions…I had to work on me….heal, forgive, work on my spiritual attunement, stabilize my environment, weigh and weed my relationships….rid everything that keeps me from bearing fruit/flowers….

A small sprout can have deep roots….  ~E’spiphany