Wait a minute…Did Boss #3 just retire!?! So all that talk about, “changes are coming…cross train…be patience” was a crock pot of crap!…the entire time he was planning his escape….he definitely set up those he wanted before his departure and my ass didn’t make the cut [I knew better all along]…don’t get angry over what’s expected…right?…it becomes a choice at this point….I am now back under Boss #1 [the original gangsta] and finally I realized what I want out of life in terms of my career, I am going to have to create it….
The only thing I’ve been creating is my own frustration…I’ve only been working since the law allowed…all of the highs and lows I’ve experienced over the years…crossed the stage and thought now I’m going to have the title and the salary [like day time TV commercials]…new job with a new company…I ain’t get shit…I feel like my face is pressed against the glass ceiling…where is the gold!?!
It’s at the end of my rainbow…I’m just not there yet! I keep failing to realize..just like before…there is going to be a process to get to the next stage….
Deep down I feel it’s a reason why things aren’t transpiring like I’d hoped…I’m not supposed to get comfortable because my true aspiration is not to climb the corporate ladder….
My plan A was always to be my own boss – this goes back as far as when I would play in my dad’s home office as a young girl….He started his own business when I was in middle school…I remember the struggles he [they] faced…a couple times, during high school, I had to make that phone call home, “Dad, my tuition bill is due and I got a letter saying that I won’t be able to come back to school”…I don’t know what he [they] did, but I didn’t miss a beat….He eventually picked up a 3rd shift job so he can run his business during the day….That’s probably where my drive toward entrepreneurship faltered and I decided to spend my wheels on what appeared to be the sure thing…plan B…a 9 to 5….
A Dream Deferred
by Langston Hughes
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
My dream deferred is “festering like a sore” causing my attitude to “stink like rotten meat” [and if I get one more set back I am going to f*king explode]….It’s all perspective….I can continue to keep trying to smother my spirit and keep up the charade…plan B…or I can continue through the process of using my 9-5 as leverage toward my vision…while collecting benefits and a steady pay check…also plan B….
Almost three years ago, I registered my business name…but that was all I did….Thanks to all of the recent upheaval at the work place…I decided it’s time to get back on plan A….So far I created my logo…website…business cards…and most important…my title…Owner….